If you’re new to attending sex-positive events, you’ll be delighted by our “High Possibility, Low Expectations” consent culture. You have complete agency to say yes or no, and we have an affirmative consent approach: only yes means yes. You should never feel pressured to do anything.

We honestly believe that the retreat is the very best way for new members to experience our community. The retreat is designed to broaden relationships and deepen context. From shared experiences like workshops and “speed friending” to breaking bread over luxurious meals, we hope you’ll leave the retreat having planted or sprouted the seeds of meaningful friendship.

This is pretty different from your average single day party, where, despite our best efforts, it’s just a little easier to be goal-oriented, or to focus on people one already knows. Structurally speaking, there’s just less relaxed time for deepening context at any given party than there is at the retreat. And that’s why we think the retreat is an experience every new Bonobo should have.

Can it be hard? Yes. Can you have moments of loneliness or similar challenging feelings? Absolutely. Is the experience worth it? For many people over the years, the answer is yes.

If you’re not yet a Bonobo member, complete our membership application today.

Only active Bonobo members are allowed to attend the retreat. If you resonate with what you’ve seen of our principles, values, and overall vibe, we heartily invite you to apply to join our community. To attend the retreat, just follow these steps:

1. Apply for membership.

2. If your application is accepted, purchase a membership. The base membership price is $15/month or $150/yr if paid annually. There are options for low-income folks to pay a little less, or for those of greater means to contribute a little more for added benefits.

3. Complete our new members’ orientation. There’s about 2 hours of video content where you’ll learn more about the community and our culture. This helps to ensure that you’ll understand the rules of the road and what our expectations are of participants in our community.

4. Join our private social network, where you’ll find the link and password to purchase your tickets.

Just like in past years, the Retreat will take place Friday noon to Monday noon of Memorial Day weekend. The dates for 2025 are May 23rd-May 26th. 

At Deloro Valley (formerly Camp Silver Spur) in Tuolumne, California. Be sure to check out this amazing drone video of the venue to get a feel for why we love it so much! Please do not contact the venue with questions about The Bonobo Retreat.

Deloro Valley is almost exactly the same driving distance from the Bay as Saratoga Springs (our previous venue) except you’ll be driving east instead of north. Deloro Valley is located in beautiful Tuolumne, California (near Yosemite).

We will require daily COVID checks for everyone on site. Please bring a physical antigen or molecular test with you for each day you are attending the retreat. We will check test results in person upon your arrival and then each subsequent day through Monday morning.

We’re also adding air filtration to indoor gathering spaces. 

We've also significantly streamlined our escalation procedures so that core leaders will be aware of – and able to communicate – changes in COVID risk early and quickly.

Additional policy updates are coming - return to this space for updates.

Every attendee must have both an event ticket AND a lodging option.

1) Buy oneStandard, PrimeMate, or Volunteer ticket per person. All ticket holders must be Bonobo members in good standing who have completed their Bonobo Orientation by the start date of the retreat.

2) Buy your accommodation of choice. Every attendee must have their lodging accounted for. (See lodging details below.)

• If you’re planning on staying in the Lodge or Cabins, you must either purchase a dorm bed, purchase a private group room, or be staying in a bed or private group room with someone else who has purchased that.

• If you’re tent camping, every tent camper must pay a $100 camping occupancy fee.

• If you’re car camping or staying in an RV, the purchaser of the car camping/RV ticket does not need to pay the $100 camping occupancy fee, only the fee for their car camping or RV pass. Any additional guests associated with that vehicle must pay the camping occupancy fee.

We’ll follow up with attendees in the weeks ahead of the retreat to ensure that everyone has secured their housing for the event. No one may attend the retreat without a plan for housing in place. See details on the different options below .

3) If you need one, also purchase a parking pass. Only one pass is needed per vehicle (not per person). Not needed if you purchase an RV or car camping pass.

Apply for Bonobo Network Membership Here

Yes! One of our favorite things about The Bonobo Retreat are the times we gather to eat and break bread together while nourishing our bodies with delicious food. Every ticket includes meals from Friday lunch to Monday breakfast.

Yes!  Payment plans are available if paying for your ticket all at once would be a hardship. (See bottom of question for PrimeMate specific instructions.) 

Use the promo code PAYMENTPLAN in Eventbrite (password: retreatyourself) which will make your ticket price and lodging free (not applicable for houses or private rooms). A Bonobo Network team member will then set up a payment plan for you through Paythen depending on your total ticket and lodging cost and when you purchased the ticket. Emails will go out weekly on TUESDAYS. 

For example if you buy a standard ticket for $550 ($583 with fees) on Dec 3, 2024 you will have six monthly payments of $97.17. If you buy a standard ticket on Feb 20, 2025 you will have three monthly payments of $194.33. All payments must be completed by May 23rd, 2025.

Please be sure to start your payment plan on Paythen within 7 days after you receive our email (they will go out each Tuesday). Otherwise your reservation will be subject to cancellation. Look for an email from a Bonobo Network team member, from the @bonobonetwork.com email address, with your Paythen payment plan link by the Tuesday after you place your order on Eventbrite.

For PrimeMates specifically: IF YOU DO NOT NEED A PAYMENT PLAN PLEASE USE THE REGULAR PRIMEMATES PROMO CODE. If you are a PrimeMate, look out for an email from Bonobo with your special PrimeMate promo code for payment plans specifically. Unfortunately, the promo code sent cannot apply to both ticketing and lodging so if you are a PrimeMate seeking a payment plan and are also purchasing lodging please do it as a separate transaction and use the regular promo code PAYMENTPLAN.

Tickets can be transferred to any Bonobo member in good standing who has completed orientation by May 23rd. 

We’ll continue to have a generous refund policy, which will be listed on the Eventbrite ticket sale page. This will include specific deadlines to receive full and partial refunds. 

Cancel by 3/25: Full refund

Cancel by 4/8: 50% refund

Cancel by 4/30: 25% refund

Cancel by 5/6: 10% refund

No refund after 5/6

You spoke and we listened… people want more lodging options! And we want everyone to be comfortable, resourced, and happy - so better lodging is a huge reason we chose this new venue. With indoor sleeping options for 200+ attendees, this will allow you to find what you need to get a good night’s sleep (and whatever else you might want to do!). These expanded options also mean there’s something for everyone, whether you want to share space with your polycule or are flying solo!

Lodging options include: 

• Tent Camping in a variety of locations across the Valley

• Car Camping in designated lots 

• Glamping Tents, which are 2-person tents set provided by and set up by the venue

• RV Camping (both with and without hookups)

• Cabins (further from the action), which have both individual beds and private rooms

• Lodge Rooms (closer to the action), which have both individual beds and private rooms 

• Poolside Suites (closest to the action), which are private rooms with an ensuite shower

Check out photos of some of the lodging options here.

Please check our ticketing page to learn more about lodging options and availability. When purchasing your ticket, you must purchase a lodging option (which includes tent camping) or be part of someone else’s shared lodging, so we can ensure everyone has a safe place to sleep.

Despite year-over-year increases in production costs across the board, we’re committed to keeping the Retreat as affordable as possible. If you purchase an admission ticket and tent camping (last year’s standard ticket), you’ll pay the same amount as last year, with no added costs.

Important to note: Tent camping was previously built into the standard ticket price and now there is a separate camping fee for all campers. Or you can skip the camping fee and purchase lodging for anywhere from $250 for a single bed to $6,000 for a shared house. 

The new pricing structure bakes in a $50-$100 discount on housing over our previous venue. For instance, purchasing a full price ticket plus a single bed this year will cost $50 less than doing so would have cost at the previous venue ($800 vs. $850).

Yes, absolutely! We couldn’t put on this amazing gathering without all of our volunteers. The first round of discounted volunteer tickets went on sale during the initial ticket launch. A limited number of additional volunteer tickets will be announced and released in March. Please check our ticketing page to learn more about volunteer roles and availability. 

The retreat managers are happy to discuss any specific accessibility needs with you directly. We have an accessibility manager who will follow up with you if you indicate that you’d like us to in your Eventbrite checkout. We may not be able to accommodate all needs, but we are excited to do what we can.   

The property is rustic and was built before ADA requirement laws. The main grounds contain pavement, gravel, dirt, and grass. There are elevation changes throughout the property. There will be limited golf cart service to support those with mobility needs.

There is an uphill walking trail that goes from the Main Lodge in Base Camp to the Cabins and RV/Car Camping in Upper Camp. Please see the map, the walking trail marked in red. It takes about 5-8 minutes to walk up the trail, with a steady walk. The walking trail is not paved, and there is some gravel and a step onto a stone over a very narrow creek. The distance is about a quarter mile.

There is also a driving road that is paved, that goes from the Main Parking lot to the Upper Camp cabins and camping. Guests can walk up the paved road. The walk up the paved road will take slightly longer, because you have to go up and around the Event Center, and it is not lit up at night as well as the walking path. 

Facilities Buildings:

Event Center Building - is ADA accessible, but please note that the front doors do not have an auto opener. We can prop open the front door if needed. There is a paved path.

A Frame Building - not ADA accessible. There is a small lip so a guest will need to step into the building. No stairs. There is a paved path that leads to the A Frame front door.

Lodging:

Main Lodge Rooms - not ADA accessible.

Wing 1 - there are 3 small steps when entering from the Main Lodge

Wing 2 - there is a ramp from the Main Lodge

Wing 3 & 4 - these are hallways with no stairs and no ramp needed

Cabins - not ADA accessible.

4 Cabins have ramps that lead to the front doors.

9 cabins have stairs (about 4-6 steps) that lead to the front doors.

Most cabins have a paved road that leads all the way to the front door. There are a few (about 3 cabins) that have a paved area in front of the door, however they also have grassy areas in front of that paved area (so it is not completely paved).

There is a paved road that can be driven on, that goes all the way around the cabins.

House 1, House 2, House 3 - all not ADA accessible. All our houses have many stairs (approximately 6 steps or so) at each house to get to the front door. The houses all have gravel, but parking is paved and the roads that lead up to each house are paved.

Personal Tent Areas - are not ADA accessible. Please note: we unfortunately cannot accommodate CPAPs in personal tent camping areas. Areas are not paved. Flat dirt area. A vehicle is typically able to drive up these areas however. The venue is expanding where tent camping is allowed and will give us an updated map once they do. The current areas are marked in yellow on the map. 

*** If you need ADA lodging please reach out ASAP, we have a few options not listed.

Bonobo Network members live around the world, not only in the San Francisco Bay Area. Our retreats have had guests from New York, Hawaii, Southern California, Australia, South Africa, and Europe. Wherever you live, we encourage you to apply for membership and join our event.

It can definitely be hard to go into a vulnerable and potentially intense new experience where you don’t have the comfort of familiar faces.

We’ve designed the retreat to make it easier to meet new people. There are two separate “speed-friending” events and icebreakers like Spicy Truth or Dare in addition to the rest of the workshops and activities we have planned.

If you have the time and capacity to invest in building relationships over time, we strongly recommend attending some of Bonobo’s happy hours, potlucks, virtual angel rooms, online book club meetings, virtual Bonobo Connect events, and/or parties ahead of the retreat.